Last week I had two amazing opportunities to be outside of the shop and out in the field scheduled on my calendar. One of them was an invitation to go on a plant identification hike with a group of local women who I really admire, along with an amazing herbalist and survival guide, “Cattail Bob” Seebeck. The other opportunity was to go to our local college and join forces with the beekeeping community as they did their honey harvest for the end of the year.
I was really looking forward to these opportunities, and as the week neared its end, I got closer and closer to the Wintering season of my menstrual cycle, or my bleed, when I actually get my period. I do have fairly regular periods, so I did know that I would likely be experiencing some aspect of my Winter season during these events. This can be an especially hard time for me, particularly the 2 to 3 days leading up to when I start bleeding, and as life has it, these events fell right in that window.
Now, I’m on this amazing educational path (The Well School of Body Literacy) that has led me to pay more attention to my needs during my menstrual cycle, or Moon cycle as I will refer to it from here on out, and within the last few days of my cycle, it becomes ever so important for me to have space to be alone and inward. This can make it especially difficult when I have wonderful things planned and people to meet, things that have been on my calendar and that I long to engage in, but I now know that if I give myself the space I NEED, I set myself up for success, not just during the current Winter I am experiencing, but also in the next months cycle to come.
I made it on that wonderful hike up Rabbit Ears Pass for plant identification and It was a lovely day even though I felt mostly exhausted and a bit weary. Then Friday came around, when I was meant to go be with the bees, and I woke up struck by intense, overwhelming anxiety and it was taking all of my strength just to get myself ready for the day. I cried, I whirled around not knowing what to do and I ended up canceling with the group, which was an especially difficult decision to make being the people-pleasing perfectionist that I am deep down in my core. I spent an hour feeling really REALLY guilty and frustrated by myself for not just “getting myself together” and then… I stopped myself in my tracks. This is not ok! This anger for myself is not aligning with what I want to practice in my own life, and ultimately teach to others. So why am I putting so much pressure on myself to go and do something, knowing that my body wants time and the space to be alone, to be quiet and introspective? I went through a sweet moment of repair, and forgiveness, and I decided to celebrate the fact that I put myself first! Wow! I hardly ever do that. I put the essence of my biological nature as a woman, and the well being of my next Moon Cycle, ahead of making others happy and proving something to myself. This is a radical act of self care! This small (or huge, in this case) act of stepping back makes me feel more Badass and more aligned with my needs than ever before. It reinforces the importance of making my well being a priority, not for anyone but myself.
No one knows what you need more than you do, and it might take saying potent words like “Not today” or “Maybe some other time” to fully embrace your cyclical superpowers!
I want my Wintering time to be a space of quiet repair and inward reflection. When I take the time to notice this, schedule my calendar accordingly and give myself a little slack, the time of my bleed ends up being a source of strength and power, rather than a burden or cause for disbelief in my abilities. You too can become more fortified in your Moon Cycle, and with some additional support (from myself or another Fertility Awareness Educator) you will find that living within your cycle is beautiful and rich!
Please let me know if you would like to schedule a one on one consultation to establish a closeness to your inner seasons. Leave a comment after reading this blog post and receive a special gift when you book your one on one experience!